Simplicity
by Sweet-rush37
Summary: COMPLETE! Sequel to "Brokendown Palace" The morgue lost a companion, a faithful cop and a good friend, but when a tradition they all have kept since Woody died threatens to reveal all the secrets he had kept from them for years, Jordan finds herself quest
1. Default Chapter

Title: Simplicity

Summary: Sequel to "Brokendown Palace" Its been almost five years but the morgue has not gotten over the death of one of its own. And a yearly tradition may bring out all the secrets they had held in for so long. And the secrets of a fallen hero who died protecting the woman he loved.

Mackenzie Logan-Cavanaugh walked down the street slowly, her hair was ebony her eyes chilling blue. The streets seemed different every time she walked through them. The air was chilly, but the day was a sparkling blue. She skipped down the street, avoiding the cracks in the sidewalks and the people that passed her by.

It had been five years but she always remembered the look on her Aunts face when they heard the gunshot from the car. The scream still echoed in the back of her mind. It was a chilling remembrance but it kept her alive.

The morgue had changed, things always changed when a place looses someone like the way the morgue had lost Woody. She had barely known him yet she held a lasting memory and a love of him. She passed by the people she had know for what it seemed a lifetime. Seeing Nigel she smiled and snuck up to him quietly as he typed away on his computer.

"Hi Uncle Nige!" she screeched happily, wrapping her arms around his neck.

"Why hello Mite." He said jollily pinching her cheek. "How was school." She rolled her eyes and flopped down into a chair next to him.

"Boring." She sighed, "I got an A on my English paper though, see." She held it out for him to inspect.

"Very nice." He commented "Simplicity." He said pointing to the title of the neatly typed essay.

"Its about Uncle Woody." She said quietly watching the expression on his face fall. "Did Jordan read it?" he asked, her face fell to the ground, she exsamined her toe.

"No…. she still misses him… I do too."

"We all do Mite, but life goes on… he loved you, he loved us all." She nodded and looked up at him with a wistful expression.

"I can't wait till this weekend." She said, he smiled and ruffled her hair good-naturedly.

"Neither can your aunt Angela…. She's been spending hours at a time picking out what she's going to wear to the cape… Matt's excited too, since it's the first time his able to go." Matt was Nigel and Angela's son, he had the dark hair of his father and the stouter frame of his mother.

Jordan walked in, her eyes wringed with dark circles. The Cape, a tradition since Woody had been shot and killed, the weekend of his birthday the morgue and Cal, his brother, his wife Shelby there daughter would all go out to a house that Jordan's father owned on the cape, go out and celebrate all that he was, and would never be.

"Hey, how was school?" she asked instinctively. Jordan leaned down and hugged the small girl she had adopted when Woody died.

"Okay, could have been better, could have been worse." Woody's death had done something to Jordan, she was quieter, softer, something in her stilled, she stopped searching, just existed. She had a better office, better pay, and had moved into a townhouse. But the sad fact was since Woody was killed, she had stopped living, the only time when she ever seemed happy was when Mac was around, and for a moment she could pretend it was her and Woody's child she was raising, and in a way it was. Mac was Woody's equal in a way, they were always doing something together, having a water balloon fight in the morgue break room, Garrett almost killed him for that one. She smiled in remembrance. Once she had been working late on a case and when she walked into her office there was Woody sitting on the floor, Mac on the couch above him, putting his hair in multiple pink and purple rubber bands.

"What the hell?" she said as laughter rose in her throat.

"Mac wanted to do my hair." He explained as Mac dumped a small vile of glitter on his head. "Hey… What did I say no glitter… do you know what the guys are gonna do to me?" he asked, tweaking her nose affectionately.

Mac looked at Jordan with wide, curious eyes, "Aunt Jo? You okay?" she asked softly.

"Yeah, yeah babe I'm fine." She whispered on the verge of tears. Mac was twelve, could she know now? Was she ready? Jordan had to wonder if she could ever really know the truth to that night.


	2. Dreamless sleep and hopeful prayers

Ch 2: Dreamless Sleep and Hopeful prayers

Note: If you guys are wondering what happened to Woody or who Mac and Angela is, read Brokendown Palace

Jordan had a dream, she was sitting in Woody's car, Mac in the backseat, the CB radio crackling to life with the screams of Woody's partner and friend from his hometown Angela Hayden, telling him not to go in without back up. Then there it was, that gunshot, ringing through the silence of the late buttery afternoon. She felt a chill go through her body, she knew that sound, she was a cop's daughter, that sound was permanently imprinted in her mind. She jumped out of the car, running on wobbly legs.

"Woody!" she had screamed, running as fast as she could, Woody had told her to wait in the car, but she was so scared, she had forgotten everything but him. Mackenzie was yelling after her, telling her that Woody had told them not to go inside, no matter what.

She could never forget the look of that abandoned building that seemed so normal on the outside. The walls were painted crimson with blood. Dead people lay all around, in a Mexican style shootout, A small girl raced past her, Jordan seemed not to notice. All she could see was Woody laying up against an overturned couch, a spreading stain on his stomach. He looked at her with narrow eyes, writhing with pain.

"I thought _I _told you to stay in the car." Mac burst through the door, a scared expression on her seven year old face, she tried to go to Woody but Woody told her to stay away. "Jordan get her out of here." Jordan seemed frozen, couldn't move. "Jordan! Get Mac outa here!"

Then she woke up, her face drenched in a cold sweat and her palms had deep, white crescents from where she had dug her fingers into her skin. She got up and walked into her kitchen, pouring herself a glass of water and sat down at the table, not bothering to turn on the light. Steady streams of moonlight mixed with the city lights were enough to light her entire house.

Closing her eyes she could almost smell him close to her. She had ran for so long, and when she realized it, it was to late, he was gone. She smiled when she thought of all the late night movies and little traditions they had. All the things she put him through, all the cases, she drove him crazy. Then a string of prostitutes were murdered, their daughters kidnapped, and when they tried to run they met the same fate as their mothers. They had found a little seven year old Mackenzie behind a dumpster, barely alive. And Woody fell for her and her blue eyes, immediately he was wrapped around her finger as was the rest of the morgue. She was smart, funny, pretty and in desperate need of a family, a family that woody and the morgue was supplying. Then Woody got that message on the CB. "Sir, we got him."

And he went in… hell bent on catching the man that murdered those kids. No backup was a mistake, and he died because of it, but he saved a lot of lives, and everyone agreed he was a hero.

The light flicked on, Mac was standing there in her plaid pajama's "Aunt Jo? Are you okay."

"Yeah Mac Baby, I'm fine, I just miss Woody."

"I know I miss him too… you know sometime we should visit his grave." Mac suggested.

"No… not yet." Jordan said with a firm shake of her head.

"Aunt Jo, its been five years." Mac protested

"I know babe… it still."

"Seeing it will make it real?" Mac asked

"Yeah." Jordan said with a sigh. Suddenly tears fell down her face, Mac hugged her to her.

"I'm sorry Auntie, I wish I could help you… I wish I could help myself."

"I know princess… I just miss him so much." She sobbed.

"You know if he saw you crying like this he would kick your ass." Mac joked, Jordan let out a bitter little chuckle.

"Watch your language." She said after a long stint of silence, a vain attempt at discipline for Mac, who just smiled.

"Go to sleep aunt, its late and we're going to the cape tomorrow." With that Mac sat up and wiped Jordan's tears, with that she went back to bed, turning off the light as she left.

_Imagine that. _Jordan thought to herself, _a twelve year old, wiping away my tears. _She stood, shaking herself, and realized she was tired, so she walked to her bed, in complete silence. But she stopped at her dresser, where a picture sat illuminated by the light, it was the one of the entire group of them, at Bug's birthday party, the one she had found in Devan's desk. She gave the picture a lopsided smile and moved on, laying down on her bed, she rolled over and let out a deep, shuttering sigh. She had to wonder why she couldn't have been the one to die, Mac had to pick her up so many times, she wondered if it would have been easier if she was the one to die. It was no use, she curled herself tighter in her bed and cried, all she wanted was to find answers for so long, now she had them, and she hated herself to boot. Finally she fell into a dreamless sleep, with tearstains on her cheek. But little did she know the girl standing in her doorway, her long black hair looking like velvet around her shoulders. Her eyelids shut tight, praying that they all got the answers that they needed to move forward, because, she feared, the family she had gained, could fall apart if they didn't.


	3. Empty houses

Ch 3: Empty

"Aunt Jordan it's Nine O'clock!" Mackenzie screamed into Jordan's ear as Jordan pushed her away and sat up sleepily.

"What?" Jordan snapped, suddenly it was like she woke up from a dream. "Shit… I mean Crap." She shoved herself out of bed and dressed quickly. A knock at the door signaled Nigel and Bug were there, Mac rushed out to answer the door. Angela stood there, next to Nigel, heavy with baby, and a four-year-old hanging off her shoulders.

"I have to pee." She stated flatly as Mac moved aside to let her through.

"Hi Uncle Bug, Hi Uncle Nigel."

"Hey honey," they said in unison, sitting on the couch with a sigh. "Where's Jordan?"

"Getting ready, she woke up late again." At that second Jordan emerged from her bedroom sporting a bright red tee shirt and black dickie jeans.

"Hey everyone." They all greeted her, as Angela waddled into the living room. "Where's everyone else, Garret and Lily, Cal and Shelby, Sydney?"

"Meeting us there… we ready to go?" Mac asked impatiently, sticking her chin out stubbornly.

The trip was silent, no one spoke, and no one needed to. Mac slid down into her seat as they pulled off on the expressway. She could feel her chin tremble slightly. She was only seven, only seven when her mother was murdered in New York, Only seven when her mom's pimp took her to Boston, intent on selling her. Only Seven when she met Woody. But he had changed her life; in the few weeks he had known her she had learned more about herself, how strong she really was. She looked out the window at the ocean, pounding against the sand, she wondered if that was the same ocean that she had stood next to once upon a time, smiling and running around. It didn't seem the same, it seemed sad and empty, dark and mysterious.

"Time changes things." Someone had once said to her, though time prevented her from remembering who, she was so little, all she had was this blurred vision of a face, and the features weren't distinct and a little grainy. She looked over at Jordan who was watching the road silently as she prepared to change lanes.

She wondered for a moment what it would be like to disappear, like rain into a puddle, just fade into the crowd. She wondered how free it would be not to be known, not to be obligated to anything…

The memory of her mother brought her back like cold water. Her mother was a runaway, a vagrant prostitute, and she was the smartest person Mac had ever known. She had hopes and dreams like any other girl; they were all crushed by her need for money. Mac never resented her mother; she always had clothes on her back and food in her stomach though sometimes her mom went hunger so she wouldn't.

She thought her mother would be proud at the way she had carved out a life for herself. Except, she could see it falling apart, a little at a time. Jordan was becoming distant, Garret was thinking of retiring, Bug and Nigel barely spoke anymore; Angela was preoccupied with Matt and her little one on the way. All of it was gone, after five years of birthday parties and Christmas's it was all over. They were all separating, like cream and milk. Mackenzie felt tears run down her face silently, she didn't need that. All she wanted was a little piece of history, was that too much to ask? A warm house, a safe bed on a quiet boulevard. Why couldn't that be her?

She wiped away her tears and burrowed down deeper in her seat… it would be a long drive.

Jordan looked over at Mac; she was almost asleep, her legs curled up against her body. She felt bad for her, she had been disappointed by so many people in her life, and now they were spending what seemed their last weekend at the cape in honor of Woody's birthday, he would be thirty-seven on Sunday, it was Thursday. She felt a lump gather in her throat she pushed it down and kept driving. She normally would be driving to run, but now she had Mac, she couldn't run, though she wanted to. She pulled up the sandy driveway and up to a worn gray beach house. She parked haphazardly, the car jerked to a stop. She yanked the keys from the ignition and wiped away a rouge tear in the same swift movement. She sat only for a moment before waking up Mac, they had to mend whatever was happening, quick.


	4. pieces of history p1

The porch was grainy from the sandy wind; the deep gray paint was chipped and worn. Mac stood on the beach as Nigel tore the boards off the windows and doors. Garret pulled up in his ford, Lily was right behind him, a man was in the passenger seat. Mac noticed how Bug stiffened.

"Look who's finally here." He commented with distain, Jordan ignored him, Mac ignored him, Nigel smiled but said nothing as the final board came crashing down on the wrap around porch. Lily was all smiles as she came waltzing up.

"Hi everybody this is my _single_ lawyer friend, his name is Josh Blackstone…" Jordan and Mac shared a glance, they knew what she was up too. Jordan wasn't over it, it had been five years and people thought she should get over it, he was dead, to move on.

"How you doing mate, Nigel Townsend." Nigel said briskly, holding out his hand for the tall, broad, brunette to shake.

"This is Jordan." Lily said quickly, "She's the one who started 'the weekend." Garret sniffed uncomfortably at Lily, trying to get her attention. She gushed on, not noticing the mixed look of annoyance and sadness on Jordan's dark face. Suddenly Lily looked up with dawning horror as she saw the look of pure shock. "Oh… My… God… you didn't tell her!" she snapped at Nigel who slumped with shame.

"Sorry Love… the right opportunity never arose." Jordan glared at Nigel and opened the door with anger, slamming it shut.

"Forgive her." Garret said softly to Josh who shrugged "She's never let go."

Mac suddenly felt enraged at her "Uncle Garret" she stormed up the steps and turned to him.

"Can you blame her?" she hissed and followed Jordan inside. "Aunt Jordan, I'm sorry they did this."

"Did you know about this?" Jordan screeched as she piled her luggage on her bed.

"Of Course Not!"

Suddenly there was a knock at the door, Josh appeared in the doorway. "Hi…um listen." Mac slipped quietly out of the room, but remained at the door, listening intently. "I had no idea you knew nothing of my coming… I'm fully prepared to leave right now."

Jordan gave a strained smile "Look you're here now, you might as well stay, we have a sand castle contest and karaoke… a full formal dinner, it's a lot of fun." He smiled, disarming Jordan for a moment.

He nodded; Jordan suddenly felt a rush of uneasiness. "Listen you better go get yourself a room, Nigel will take the best room." She whispered confidingly, he turned and walked out, almost bumping into Mac on the way.

"Talk about crazy." She joked as she entered the room, Jordan stood, looking out at the sun that was bleeding into the ocean, turning the waves scarlet and bubble gum pink.

"I think I'll take a walk." Jordan stammered, standing and stumbling down the stairs and out the French doors that led to the deck then the beach. Leaving Mac to stand in a silent awe at the way her aunt held herself up.

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Darkness descended on the bay, the moonlight left a trail of silver on the black-mirror like water. Jordan sat in the sand, digging her toes into the limestone colored sand and olive green beach grass. How could they do that? Just bring some stranger to the weekend? It was her tribute to Woody and Lily brought John? Jacob? Josh… that was it Josh. She had to admit he was stunning, but his chestnut eyes couldn't hold a candle to Woody's sleepy blue eyes.

"Hey… don't you love the cape in winter?" _NO! it can't be happening again. _Jordan thought as a figure sat down next to her, he was dead he couldn't be real, he died, he was dead.

"Woody?" she asked in a low voice

"What?" he said softly, caressing her cheek lightly

"It's been a while." She whispered

"Jordan Dinner!" Cal called from the porch, her head shot up in surprise, when she looked back, Woody was gone… not so much as a footprint in the sand.

"No" she whispered, as the wind rushed past her, "come back."


	5. pieces of history p2

The look on their faces made Jordan nervous, everyone was quiet, staring down at their plates. Mac was dressed in a black tee shirt and jeans, the toe of her right black converse dug into the carpet as she always did when she was nervous and didn't know what to say. Nigel was rubbing Angela's back methodically, her hand lingered on his knee. Bug and Lily stared down stubbornly at their plates. Cal and Shelby shared a look and then looked away from each other, staring at a non-existent dot on the wall somewhere.

"Cheer down will yah… starting to look like you work in a morgue or something." She said with a half smile, swooping down into her seat.

"Jordan, how are you feeling, better I hope, you were out on the beach for a long time." Lily commented with a slight raise of her eyebrow.

"Needed the fresh air, I feel much better now." She said with barely stifled anger at her friend.

"Can we all eat please?" Garret asked in an attempt to remain civil. He raised his fork but dropped it again.

Josh opened his mouth to say something, but Jordan stood suddenly, staring at the beach with fright, her skin turned pallid and sickly. "Jordan you okay?" Nigel asked, standing up with concern.

"Jo?" Angela questioned, following her husband.

Jordan backed away from the table, knocking over her chair, it wasn't real, she told herself, it couldn't be…

"I have to go…" she stuttered and ran out the door, slamming it behind her.

"Woody!" she screamed running down the beach as fast as she could to that place in the white sand where she had seen his motionless figure, she patted the sand where she swore he had been, she found nothing but loose beach grass. She returned to running down the coastline, hysterically, searching for his thick frame.

"Jo-Jo?" she felt someone grab hold of her, she tried to pull away but to her relief it was exactly who she was searching for.

"Woody." She whispered and let soft sob come from her lips, tears run down her face. "I saw you dead… on the beach."

"No… you only think you saw me on the beach, when in reality I was never there, the fact is I'm only here in your mind…" he was about to rant on when he saw her face smiling.

" Why do you do that?" she asked a hint of frustration in her voice.

"Do what?" he asked smiling, dragging her down with him into the sand.

"go on like that."

"I do not go on…"

"You did it alive you do it dead." She pushed

"Whatever." He said flatly, she smiled and leaned into him. She failed to notice the girl sitting a few yards away, her knees pulled into her chest, staring at Jordan who sat alone on the beach.


	6. At the end of tomorrow

At the end of tomorrow

Note: Sorry its so short!

When Jordan came back inside it was dark all throughout the house, yet shouts were erupting from upstairs, Nigel and Angela were having it out. Mackenzie and Cal's little girl Sara Anne, along with Matt were sitting in the living room staring at the cartoons on the TV. Garret was in his room, the sound of jazz floated around the upstairs hall. Cal and Shelby were on the back porch, watching the waves, Lily was in the kitchen fixing herself a bowel of ice cream and Bug was at the dining room table looking at a book, rows and rows of different bugs aligned the pages.

No one noticed her enter, either that or no one cared, she dropped her sandy shoes at the door and removed her coat. Mac glanced up, but said nothing.

"What are the lovebirds arguing about?" she asked nonchalantly, Mac sighed as Jordan flopped down next to her on the couch.

"What do you think? They're arguing about you… Nige thinks Angela should talk to you, and Angela thinks its your problem and she shouldn't get involved."

"Smart lady." Jordan commented with a lump in her throat and a sly smile.

"Aunt Jo…" Mac started, but was unable to finish her sentence, she couldn't say anything else, it refused to come out.

"Yeah?" Jordan said sleepily

"Nothing." She said with a sigh, her shoulders dropping "Forget it."

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"Lily?" Bug whispered as he entered the kitchen, he had to squint to see in the bright light.

"Yeah…" she whispered

"You okay?" she sighed, offered him the chair next to her, he willingly took a seat next to her, smelling the sweet, tingly smell of her perfume.

"I guess, its just that I've left Matt like five messages and he hasn't called me back." Bug stiffened at the sound of Matt Seeley's name.

"Really," he said looking deeper into her eyes and chewing on his bottom lip. " Shocker there."

"Bug" Lily warned "don't start, please…"

He smile apologetically, "Sorry, I just don't think he deserves you that's all." He said softly. She smiled graciously

"I know, you're a good friend Bug."

He looked away from her, wanting to scream that she had always been more to him. "Yeah… a great _friend_."

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_Dear Diary April 14th_

_Today Jordan ran out of dinner, I feel her drawing closer to the edge again, I fear she might run, just as she ran long ago. I wonder if we are all destined to end up somewhere else. Before, we were so close, a family, co-workers and friends. Now we're distant at best, It was like a wall built up between us all and we have nothing else to say, so we don't say anything, and it all built up, now we have no idea where to go… I'm worried, we are all trying to find someone to blame for his death, we can't escape it no matter how we all run, it doesn't go away. So we come here, to the cape, one last attempt to salvage what we can of our relationships and go home with what we have. No one knows this but I'm ready to retire, Nigel is thinking of transferring to New York, we all are moving away from it, the memories, the pain… I cannot think anymore so I will try and sleep, maybe my dreams will help me make sense of it all._

_Garret_

Garret shut his diary and pulled the glasses off his face, wiping a sweaty hand across his face, before he turned out the light he looked out at the coast, where the land met the stormy sea and felt something deep inside brewing, it was all coming to a stand still… and in a moment it would end.

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Rain began to fall, in sheets, pounding down sideways, and slamming against everything that came in its path. Cal stared at it long after his wife had put their little girl to bed and went into the bathroom to take a shower. He felt the same thing brewing that Garret did, only he had yet to realize it all. He had yet to realize the power of Jordan's love for his brother, and how far she would go to protect his name.


	7. Early morning

It was in the early hours of the morning, when the sun was just beginning to rise out of the east, Jordan awoke to the feeling of someone brushing the hair out of her face. She looked up, her eyes dizzy from sleep, for a moment, she wasn't sure where she was. Then she saw the blue eyes, color of the ocean after a big storm, all calm and blue. He smiled at her and sat down next to the couch where she had fallen asleep. Mac was asleep safe in her bed.

"Hi…" he whispered, "What's up?" she smiling, knowing he was the only one who truly understood her. Rain pounded the roof.

"What are you doing here?" she asked, sitting up, the moon's silver face hidden by clouds, she knew he was in her head, still, it was good to see him.

"Your pretty when you sleep." He said, she smiled, he sounded childlike and innocent.

"I am?" he leaned back, all confidence, "Jordan… are you okay, really?"

"Yeah Wood, I'm fine, really, I'm okay… it wasn't the first time I saw someone I love lying in a pool of blood." Her tone was harsher than she expected… he was dead, how angry at him could she be? She also saw the hurt look on his face. "Woody I'm sorry… I didn't mean it…"

"Yeah you did." He whispered, standing up, she could feel him leaving, she always felt cold when he was leaving, cold and empty.

"No Woody… Woody, don't leave…please I promise…I won't" he cut her off, placing a gentle finger on her lips. "I was stupid to go into that building… but I'm not helping you… I think I better leave."

She suddenly felt panicked, she stood, "No wait… not yet…" her voice trailed off as he stood in front her, not real, and yet he was there to her… flesh, blood, bones… he looked so real.

"I will have to go sometimes Jo, it's a matter of time."

She gave him a lopsided smile and straightened his collar "you don't yet though." She looked at the window and looked back at Woody but he was gone… she sighed, it was like him dying every time he disappeared.

She walked up the stairs and collapsed in bed… falling into another dreamless sleep.

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Cal awoke to the sound of bacon frying. Shelby was cuddling against his chest, he gently pushed her back against her pillow and climbed out of bed, slipping on a tee shirt and robe.

Sleepily he stumbled down the stairs to find Angela in the kitchen, making breakfast, listening to _I'll be seeing you. _He couldn't help but smile, she was dancing along to the soft melody, Nigel was leaning into her as they danced together gently, his lanky arms linked around her waist loosely, Cal waited until Nigel kissed her gently and walked out of the kitchen before he came down.

"Hey Angie, making you world famous bacon omelets?"

"Hi Cal." She looked frazzled and a little bit embarrassed but she welcomed him with a warm smile, that was the kind of person she was. Cal sat down on a stool and looked at her closely, the music made her look beautiful, her hair rumpled, he noticed the lines in her face, by the corners of her mouth and eyes, he noticed they had shown up right around the time Woody died,

"Ang how you doing?" something a lot of people didn't ask her, she looked up and gave a unsure grin.

"How am I doing… fine, its Jordan you should be worried about."

"She's fine, she does this every time we come here, its her way of coping with the memories… how are you?"

"I guess I'm fine."

"You guess…" he raised an eyebrow

"Don't look at me that way." She snapped suddenly, anger redolent in her voice, "Woody looked at me like…" her voice trailed off as she began to cry. Cal walked over to her and let her lean on his shoulder, tears wetting the front of his shirt.

"I am so, so sorry Angie girl, I am… I am so sorry." He repeated over and over to her, hoping it would stick.

Garret walked into the kitchen, his face softened but he silently walked back out.

Nigel came in at the sound of Angela's crying, Cal silently motioned for him to come to her, gently he set her on Nigel, their eyes locked and Nigel leaned down to comfort his wife.

He looked out at the waves, all calm after the storm… and that's when he heard it… the gunshot…loud and clear like it was right next to his ear… and suddenly he couldn't breathe.


	8. runaway train

Ch 8: Runaway Train

Note: sorry these are so short, they will get longer

Cal burst through the double doors down to the beach, Garret, Angela, Josh, Lily and Nigel all behind him only a step away. The rain soaked through his thin tee shirt. There she was, standing in the sand, her hair plastered to her head, Her clothes stuck to her frame, a gun in her right hand, she looked at everyone emptily and laughed, a bullet hole was lodged in a nearby tree. Garret swallowed hard, took a step toward her, she backed up, sand smeared across her soaked pants and bare feet.

"Jordan, please." He begged "don't do this…"

Mac came running out, her hair was wet from the shower. "Aunt Jo?" she asked, her eyes darted around confused from person to person. "Aunt Jo… why do you have that gun?" Jordan just smiled and began to sing

"_I'm going to tell you a story, I'm going to tell you about my town, I'm going to tell you a big bad story baby, all about my town, yeah down by the river, down by the banks of the river Charles…"_

"Jordan!" Nigel shouted, she just gave an eerie smile and began to dance up to the house to a tune that exsisted only in her head.

Garret, Angela, Lily and Nigel all shared a look… Mac began to follow her up to the house but Lily stopped her.

"Don't honey, its her fight, she's going to have to accept it on her own." Mackenzie looked terrified for a moment, but shook him off and ran up to the house.

"Dear God… its happening again…." Garret whispered horrified

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Jordan almost ran right into Bug as she knocked through the doors. "Jordan?" he said sleepily "Are you okay? I thought I heard a gun shot…" Mac ran through, her breath quick and labored.

"Aunt Jo are you okay?" she asked taking Jordan's shoulders in her hands.

"I see him… in everything I do… I see him everywhere I go… first my mother and now him… I just can't do it anymore I can't" tears blurred her vision and poured down her face. "I can't." she whispered almost like an afterthought. Then it was like a light went off in the back of her mind and she raced up the stairs to her room, pulling out her luggage she began to pack as fast as she could. She ignored Woody's figure in the corner.

"Jordan what are you doing? The weekend isn't over yet."

"This is your fault!" she screamed at him, tears running down her face " You went into that Abandoned house alone… you knew better! It was selfish!"

"Stupid Jordan… what your doing is selfish! What about Mackenzie huh? She's twelve she doesn't know what's happening, she doesn't know what's good for her, she relies on you!"

"STOP IT! LEAVE ME ALONE!" she screamed, covering her ears with her hands…

"Aunt Jordan?" she looked up, tears staining her face to see Mac standing in the doorway, she looked at where Woody had just been and found nothing. Slowing, swallowing hard she grabbed her suitcase, her long chestnut hair hanging in clumps down her back. "Where are you going?" Mac asked, following her to the living room.

"Nowhere, just going to clear my head."

"When are you going to be back?" she begged

"I don't know." Jordan answered honestly

"What am I supposed to do without you?" Mac asked, a lone tear running down her face.

"your better off with out me Mac believe me." She threw her suitcase in the backseat as people began to rush up the beach, noticing her leaving. "Jordan no!" Garret yelled after her, a tear began to rush down her face, she smiled at Mac and got in the car. Mac saw nothing except the tail lights of Jordan's car as she pulled up. Garret and the others had just reached her. He set a hand on her shoulder.

"She'll Come back honey, she always does." Garret whispered, "She loves you… she does… that's how come she's fighting so hard."


	9. White dashes

Jordan ran. It was in her head for so long people were better off without her that after awhile she believed it. It was pouring down rain but she didn't care, her life was over. She ignored the white dashes that sped past her as she went farther and farther away from the people she loved.

She saw a flaw in her life, the fly in the ointment, and the scar on the supermodel. She cared too much. People told her this all the time, she was too caring, she took things to heart; she felt the pain of the victims because at one time she was one. It was an unfortunate feeling being left like that. Her mother was one thing, she didn't have a choice, her mother was murdered she didn't choose to leave

Woody was another thing, he had that choice, he walked into that abandoned house with the full knowledge that he could very well die in there. And he did, he died, his wheel stopped turning, his time had come, at one time she hated hearing that, now it was a comfort, she had more faith than she had then, she know believed that honestly, he had died for a cause that was beyond her and for the first time in her life, she was okay with letting go and believing there was something more out there than her.

Then she stood in that rain, the peace she had felt inside had dwindled and dribbled away. She watched as everything seemed farther and farther away from all she knew, going to a place she was unsure even existed. She listened to the rain pound the roof and white dashes moving past her at an alarming rate.

She sang along with the radio as she began to relax. She knew that she would be back, but drunk on her feelings made her weak Mackenzie's face floated past her, the look of betrayal on her face soaked with rain.

She couldn't go back and face that, it was too hard to explain that every night she saw his face in front of her so real she could touch it, she could hold him, she could even kiss him and it was only then when she felt like she could let her guard down.

She was a walking contradiction to herself, she was at one point a faithful person, believing that there was something more to life and something else out there. And then there was that other part of her that was saying it wasn't logical, there was science in everything.

Suddenly, she saw him, his hands stuffed in his pocket, he was looking at her grimly, his feet planted firmly on the damp pavement. She let out a shriek and twisted her steering wheel frantically, and felt herself slip from the control she had felt over her life, suddenly she liked the feeling, and let go of the steering wheel. She didn't even see the tree in front of her as her car came to a sickened stop. She remembered the dizzy feeling that she felt, and smelling the gasoline and rain, hearing the radio seeing her headlights cut through the night sky as she slipped under the hedge of darkness… and all she could hear were the lyrics to that song, the same song she had remembered as Woody had died… she couldn't help thinking how ironic life could be at times… like a memory you forgot but want to remember.

Battered and torn  
still I can see the light  
tattered and worn  
but I must kneel to fight

Friend of mine  
what can't you spare  
I know some times  
it gets cold in there

When my legs no longer carry  
and the warm wind chills my bones  
I reach for Mother Mary  
and I shall not walk alone

Hope is alive  
while we're apart  
only tears  
speak from my heart  
break the chains  
that hold us down  
and we shall be  
forever bound

When I'm tired and weary  
and a long way from home  
I reach for Mother Mary  
and I shall not walk alone

Beauty that  
we left behind  
how shall we  
tomorrow find

Set aside  
our weight in sin  
so that we  
can live again

When my legs no longer carry  
and the warm wind chills my bones  
I reach for Mother Mary  
and I shall not walk alone

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Mac felt a rush of numbness come over her, she couldn't think, she couldn't feel, all she could see was the smile on Jordan's face as she climbed into her car. Was she that happy to be leaving. She had always told herself that things would get better after, hell, they couldn't get any worse. She sat in her bedroom and watched as the clouds began to part and the moon peeked out, illuminating the black, stormy waves that crashed against the sandy beach. It was suppose to be all cotton candy and Eskimo kisses, instead it was cold and lonely, it was sad, and she thought inside she could handle it.

A lone tear ran down her face, it was an unfortunate feeling, being all alone with her future tossed up. She wasn't okay. Her lone tear became a flood as she buried her head in her pillow and sobbed. Then she heard it… a telephone ring, and for some reason there was a sick feeling in the pit of her stomach and she couldn't pick it up.


	10. Forever Young

Mackenzie was all alone for the first few seconds that seemed to blur into each other. Jordan's face flooded her thoughts for a moment. As Nigel talked to her frantically, the only words that stood out were … accident… serious … Jordan… she sat down with a stunned look plastered to her white face, that was naturally pallid, but looked abnormally white. She curled her knees to her chest as people rushed past her, she stayed anchored throughout the chaos. She remembered her last words spoken to Jordan, the feeling as Jordan faded into the rain, she remembered vaguely someone carrying her, she looked up to see Bug, she wrapped a arm around his neck and accepted his help, setting her head gently on his shoulder as Angela was yelling frantically for her son, trying to get him to the car as fast as she could.

Nigel ran outside to the car, turning it on. Lily, Garret and Josh were piling into another car as were Cal, Shelby and their daughter. Bug slid Mac into a back seat next to Matt's car seat, he sat next to her, petting her head soothingly as she kept her head on his shoulder for support.

"Mac?" Matt asked, tapping her on the shoulder tenderly, Mac looked up putting on a brave face.

"Yeah Mattie?"

"Is auntie Jordan going to be okay?" he asked in a sad voice. Mac gave him a teary smile. She wiped his dark hair out of his face.

"I don't know…" she smiled and straightened her shoulders "But we have to be strong don't we." It was more like she was asking herself more than giving him a moral boost but Bug didn't say anything when she looked at him, only gave her a rueful smile.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Jordan looked small, weak, something she had never been before in the five years Mackenzie had known her. She looked surprisingly young, the creases that had carved and etched her face in the past five years seemed to disappear. She looked rosy and surprisingly alive, which was ironic to Garret. It was five years to the day they were all at Woody's birthday party at the Pouge, celebrating his thirty-second birthday. Now they were praying for her recovery. Mac hadn't spoken a word since they had reached the hospital, Matt was asleep on her lap. She stared out blankly into the hall.

May God bless and keep you always,  
May your wishes all come true,  
May you always do for others  
And let others do for you.

He felt himself falling, in a weird sense, he had never felt this kind of feeling before, she was like a kid sister… what if he lost her? They had lost Woody, no one spoke of it hardly, except this time of the year, all the other seasons past quietly and quickly until September when all didn't seem right, something was missing… first Jordan lost her mother in September then Woody, what if she didn't make it? Somehow he knew, this was it… the last weekend… he had realized it a long time before, he thought everyone did, just no one wanted to admit it.

May you build a ladder to the stars  
And climb on every rung,  
May you stay forever young,

Angela was standing outside, holding her baby that was due in less than four weeks… she rubbed her stomach methodically. A lone tear was falling down her face.. she couldn't speak… the rain had died down and a purple dawn was erupting across the sky… she closed her eyes and prayed for a miracle. When she opened her eyes she found nothing different.

_May you grow up to be righteous,  
May you grow up to be true,  
May you always know the truth  
And see the lights surrounding you._

Cal remembered the first thing he said to Jordan and laughed. Cal and her had become close, she was like what she would have been if she and Woody had gotten serious… his sister. The steady beep of the heart machine seemed to be in time with his heartbeat as he wished there was something he could do for her…

_May you always be courageous,  
Stand upright and be strong,  
May you stay forever young,  
Forever young, forever young_,

Mackenzie looked at the wall and felt dread… she tucked a strand of hair behind her ear and let a tear trace her cheek softly before letting it drip off her chin. The white lights were blinding… Woody would have known what to do… suddenly it was like a light that came on in her eyes… he wasn't what she thought he was… she knew that he wasn't perfect, like she had risen him up to be… he was human… and he had flaws… he wasn't a perfect Cop, he had bailed Cal out, she knew that… she found his diary… but he was a good man… a good cop, and somehow that seemed enough.

May your hands always be busy,  
May your feet always be swift,  
May you have a strong foundation  
When the winds of changes shift.

When Nigel looked up, the sky was blue… Jordan looked pliable and weak… he had seen many a people pass through his life like water. She was one he didn't want to loose, his co-worker and friend… and when her eyes fluttered open he thought it was a dream… but there they were, a steady honey- chestnut color… and to his surprise, she smiled for the first time in what seemed an eternity.

_May your heart always be joyful,  
May your song always be sung,  
May you stay forever young,_


	11. Broadway is dark tonight

When Jordan's eyes fluttered open, it was like a miracle, her eyes were bright and clear, if not a little foggy from the medication. Nigel could hear imaginary fireworks going off. He jumped up from his chair. He could feel relief and happiness run through his veins. "Oh Love," was all he could say as he stroked her hair gently. She smiled through chapped lips.

"Nigel…" she whispered in a weak but bright voice, he noticed that she looked him in the eyes for the first time in what felt like an eternity.

"Guys!" he started to motion for Mac and the others… her white arm shot up weakly as she grabbed his arm.

"No Nige… just sit here with me for awhile… with me… like old times." Her voice was small and weak… like she was thinking of something far away… her eyes wondered around the room for a moment.

He sat back down, swallowing hard. She looked up and furrowed her brow. "What do you have on your mind love?" he asked.

" I hate myself." She whispered, closing her eyes like if she looked at him she would crumble into dust. "I look at myself every morning and I feel I've let everyone down… I've disappointed, I've trampled all over them… I tell myself lies to make me feel better so I can make it through the day… I feel like I'm screaming and no one is listening.

Each day I wonder what happened to the happy ten year old… then I know that nothing had ever really changed… I stopped looking for her murderer when Woody died… knowing he would want me to stop and raise Mackenzie… but nothing has changed… I'm still looking for something I can't find." She paused, clearing her throat… "I found the letter of Resignation on Garret's desk last week… I went into my office and cried for three hours… I had nothing else to do." A tear wound its way down her face, she looked to weak to wipe it off herself so he did it for her. "Nigel… when will I be enough?" she asked in a small voice, more tears poured down her face.

"Love…" he whispered, his voice cracking, he wiped her tears off her cheeks. "You were always enough." He leaned down and kissed her forehead. He stood up, smiled at her sadly. Opened the door and walked away.

Mac came in a few moments later, she was catious… she stood barely in the doorway, she didn't speak, she didn't move, just stood motionless like she was a statue.

"You gonna sit?" Jordan asked, Mac shook her head no. Jordan sighed in a world weary type of way. "please."

Mac looked enraged, her fists clinched, a tear fell down her face, she stood up a little taller. "How dare you… you expect me to just come over because your hurt and sick… you expect me to just take you back… huh, is that the plan…"

Jordan opened her mouth to speak but Mac cut her off.

"You were going to leave me… it was that easy for you, just to take off!"

"Mac I would never leave you… I was planning on coming back I swear!" Jordan begged listlessly, like she was begging for her life. "You can't leave to Mac… you can't." she whispered under her breath.

"Leave you? Is that what this is about huh? Me leaving _you_." She seethed anger and frustration making her lilly white face red and livid. "You left me remember, you just drove away… I hate you."

Mac walked out of the room with her shoulders squared, almost knocking over Lily in the process.

"Whoa…" Lily said watching Mac's departing figure. "She OK."

"She hates me…" Jordan whispered dazed.

"No she doesn't." Lily said matter-of-factly with a sigh. "She's just reacting on the fear of you leaving and then getting into a car wreck."

"Lily?" Jordan said softly

"Yeah Jo?"

"don't take offense but I'd kind of like to be alone right now…" she said gently

"Ok…" and in a moment she was alone… with him.

"Where's Mac?" Woody asked from his place in the corner.

"I don't know maybe becoming president of the I-hate-Jordan Club."

"I was once president of that club…" Woody said with a chuckle

"Ha-Ha…" she mocked sarcastically, he stared at her a moment before he carefully chose his words.

"I have to go Jordan…" her eyes shot up to meet his

"No, Woody, please not yet!" she screamed.

"Yes… I have to go… I'm not helping you."

"Please…" she begged tears falling down her face, she started to sit up but the EKG machine beeped in alarm. "You can't leave me too…"

"Shh" he comforted, smoothing the hair from her face gently. "You'll be okay… I promise, you'll be fine… I promise everything we'll be fine… Mac will forgive you… Jordan… Jordan." She held his hand tight… as he walked away she held onto it tight… finally it pulled away… he paused at the open window that he was about to climb out of… he loved dramatic exits… "Oh, and Jordan!" he called after her. She looked at him.

"I never left you… and never will… when you wake up alone… think of that." And with that he jumped from the window… and all that was there was light and blue skies… she was alone again… for a second she knew she wouldn't be seeing him for a long time to come… but she swore that for that second right before he jumped, she saw his shadow, something she had never seen before.

"promise?" she whispered to the air that he once occupied. Feeling alone and scared was nothing new to Jordan but for some reason… one of those feelings were oddly missing… fear was ever present… but for some reason her loneliness was gone.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

One year later….

It was never anything Jordan had ever felt before… looking down at his grave. It had snowed in Boston, the small reminants of sparkling snow remained on his headstone. She wiped if off with her dark black glove… she looked over at Mac who was standing a few feet away… Lily was right, she forgave Jordan, though it was a long way to redemption.

"Woody… are you listening?" she whispered, "Garret is coming back as a consultant once in a while, and we all meet up at PJ's for dinner every Friday night, so while it isn't the same as working together… its as close as we can get… Nigel and Angela had there little boy number 2…. Woodrow Townsend… it fits him… I hope he's a good namesake… looks just like Angie." She swallowed hard and looked at his headstone in a motherly way… she sat on the wet grass… her knees pulled up to her chest. "do you remember what you said to me once… you told me that in the end nothing endures… not life, not family… not even death…. I didn't believe you… but now I do… because I know that no matter what I face in the coming years… and I don't know what that might be… I know I can face it… because your by my side, whether I can see you or not.

And I know that you love me… I wanted to pretend you were alive so bad, so I wouldn't have to deal with this pain that I feel inside… I know its okay… I'm okay, Mac is okay… Josh asked me to marry him Woody." She held up her hand to show off the simple ring on her finger. "He knows how much I loved you… love you… and I wanted to tell you that he won't change anything between us… you'll always be my first… and foremost… I'm sorry I haven't been here for you… I promise… It'll never happen again… I promise."

With that she got up and walked away… a smile on her face.


End file.
